I heard this song on the radio on the way to work this morning, and it got me thinking.
“Wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. Cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been living in. And you if do not want to see me again, I would understand.”
I had a super close girlfriend 4 years ago. We met at my old church doing a disciple now together. We bonded immediately over confessions of our seedy pasts. We remained close for about 2 years until some things happened and we couldn’t move past them. Well, I couldn’t move past them, and we just stopped talking. Cold.
This all happened the month before I met Clint. Well, a few days ago I got on IM for the first time in a couple of years and she messaged me. We chatted for a bit, and I gave her my myspace page address. The next day she wrote me a really beautiful poem about our friendship, and what talking to me had made her realize about it. I was totally speechless.
It made me wonder: can you, in a friend-relationship, move beyond a perfidious past? Or is it like a marriage, where when the ties are broken, there’s really no chance to mend? Are there some friendships that are really just meant to last for a little while?
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6 comments:
I don't think all friendships are supposed to last a lifetime. The way I like to think of it is that most friendships have lifespans.. and if the cost (say, for instance, the loss of trust) outweighs the benefit of the relationship, then it's a no go for me. And I've had to learn this the hard way. It sucks.
i think friendships ARE meant to last a lifetime. they just don't. they can't all survive the journey.
since when does ties breaking assume no chances of mending? the thing with relationships is it (forgive the remote cliche) requires all parties to take part in the ownership of the shit and ownership of the gold. if you don't want to own one of the parts the relationship is vulnerable to demolition, it's just a matter of time.
i appreciate the story and life experience though. who hasn't had this happen? I've totally had friends that i either flicked off the face of my square earth or they conveniently pushed me off the edge. It's nice to hear the redemption here. but that doesn't mean you HAVE to be BFF now.
is that incubus? i can't put my finger on it. . . i know it. . hmm. oh, it's green day! is it? (i'm thinking out loud. . .)
it's third eye blind
I have definitely broken up with friends before.
danielle- i totally agree
bonita- what you said about marriage is what clint says to me on a regular basis. i seem to have a real problem owning up to my shit.
but what i was getting at was more than just "breaking ties". i was talking more in an infidelity sense. like, is it possible to build back trust once someone has betrayed you? i think for me, in a romantic sense, there would be no way to mend a relationship that has broken the ties of fidelity because it's such an intimate relationship. what i was wondering on paper was if a friend-relationship could be different.
clint- good call
btm- apparently this is much more common than i originally thought.
cristy- i'm going to say this as politely as possible:
who the fuck are you and what the hell are you trying to say?
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