Emergency Room Visit (Warning: This is extremely explicit)

I just finished cleaning the last puddle of blood up from the floor. Four hours ago, I was in my bathroom, trimming my hair. I had plans to go and give my grandmother a set (curl & tease special) so she could look her best at the family reunion tomorrow. Later I was planning on going to Speakeasy with Allison to hear Sworn Enemies.

Nicole calls me up and asks if she and Jesse can take me out to dinner for my birthday. I say, sure I’d like that and we settle on Surin.

About 15 minutes later they show up and I’m running around, turning off lights, kenneling Wilco. I turn off the last light in the front room when I hear Zeus, the great dane growl and snap. I turn around and look and Jesse and ask him if he’s ok. And right there, blood started pouring out of two large holes on both sides of his face.

I yell for Nicole and I run to find anything to stop the bleeding. First the paper towels. No, Nicole says. So I run to the back and get some of my spare towels and rush them back to Jesse who is clutching his face with his hands as blood is dripping on the floor.

“Don’t pass out.” I tell myself.

And like a flash we were in the car. We went to St. Vincent’s first but there was an hour and a half wait even though Jesse removed the towels so they could see the damage. Back in the car. We drove to UAB West, and two ladies in the doorway stood - mouths gaping open as Jesse walked by.

“A more appropriate response.” I think to myself

Jesse breezily walks up to the man behind the glass and pulls the towels away saying, “A dog bit my face.”

The man is obviously startled and buzzes us in immediately.

I steal a look at Jesse's face as the nurse is taking his blood pressure and there is a 5 inch gash from his right ear curling into what looks like the Nike swoosh symbol under his lower lip. On the other side, a clear 2 inch flap of skin portruded where the tooth had pierced all the way through his cheek.

Within 15 minutes they’ve got a morphine drip and an antibiotic started and they give him a shot for nausea. They would only let one of us stay in the room, so I excused myself to the waiting room where I called and informed his mother what had happened.

They ended up calling in a plastic surgeon who put in no less than 50 stitches and said that he was lucky the bite had not been any further down or it would have paralyzed his facial muscles. Thankfully the hospital did not want to keep him and turned him loose within the hour. We got his some food and picked up his antibiotics and it was time to head home.

And so after a long night of trauma, Nicole dropped me back off at the house. Zeus greeted me at the door with a pathetic look and nudged me with his head.

“It’s ok buddy,” I say and my eyes settle upon the blood drying in oblong pools on my living room floor.

So I cleaned it up.

And now, I’m writing this, because I’m so fucking wigged out that even talking to Clint didn’t make the shaking stop and I needed an outlet.

So to all of you who get grossed out easily: sorry. I usually do too. Hopefully I won’t have anything like this to write about again for a long time, or maybe ever.

March 3rd

Next Monday I turn 25.

Birthdays have always kind of been a big deal to me. It’s the one day a year that it’s all about you, you know? Every other day of the year it’s all about work, responsibilities, blah blah blah. But your birthday? It’s your one day to indulge yourself.

All my life I shared my birthday with my aunt Brenda. She always made our day special. We always went out to eat or had a party… she really knew how to savor it, make a big to-do about it. She also was a great gift giver. She LIVED to give gifts. She would spend so much time and money finding just the right ones. I think because her physical condition limited her so much, it was the one way she felt she could show she cared. One year she gave me a book called “If you give a mouse a cookie” to teach me a lesson about always wanting more.

I think I always really loved my birthday, because like Christmas, it was the only time my whole family would get together. There was a strong undercurrent of loathing in my family in those days, but for those two events everyone just put aside the bullshit and enjoyed each others company.

Her death, much like Christmas and our shared birthday was one of those things that brought us together. We all stayed at the hospital. We all took turns holding her hands. We all took turns waiting in the waiting room when we couldn’t all fit in her room. We all were there, together, for her last 3 days. And after she was gone, it was just different. My grandmother, who’s always been on the belligerent side, was suddenly subdued. The rift that seemed insurmountable for years between my mother and her younger sister Terri somehow melted away. Our hearts went out to my uncle and cousin who had lost a wife and a mother. It was a whole new perspective for the Gilliland crew.

So back to this year. This year on March 3rd, I turn the age that my mother was when she had me. This year I am a quarter of a century years old. This year I turn the age that for some reason has always represented “adulthood” in my mind. This year my secret joy has been and will be the many women who are teaching me lesson after lesson in listening, love, and the woman I want to be. This year I am loving my parents more than I ever thought I could. This year I am learning that the law will never assuage my fears. This year I will mourn for all the things I can’t change but want to. This year I will wait. This year I am sorry. This year, like every other year for the rest of my life, on the 3rd of March I will miss my aunt and will be thankful that for 21 years we shared a single, special day together and know that her death was one of the greatest gifts to me: it brought my family back together.

Seems Like Old Times

This weekend was fabulous. For many reasons:

1) Friday night my sister in law came over and we had a great time hanging out and talking. I was totally in bed by 9:30 though, watching Blazing Saddles with my two giant dogs up there with me.

2) Gave Elisa Munoz a fabulous new do and got to hang out Saturday morning. Also got to do Kelly Munger and little Miss Frances Munger's hair which was fun. Cutting a 3 year old's hair is quite the challenge. She looked a little like Ella when I was done, before the rogue haircutting Jim blogged about last week.

3) Re-arranged the shit out of my hair stuff and our bookshelf. Feeling a little less panicky about the clusterfuck that is our middle room....

4) Talked to my cousin out in Cali on the phone until almost 1 in the morning, cutting jokes and talking about politics, books, and music. I haven't stayed up that late talking on the phone in forever!

5) Sunday: let the chainsaws commence!! I had emailed my neighbors (Joshua & Kristen) earlier this week about taking down the last two of the scraggly, horrible trees in the front of our houses. Well, I call and ask my dad if I could borrow his chainsaw and before I know it, it's me, mom, dad, Joshua, Kristen and their two kids cutting down trees, raking up leaves, digging up dirt, planting trees, and making stone pathways. I looked at my dad at one point while we were bagging up leaves and said, "This brings back some memories, eh?" And he just smiled.


In between all that I had friends just popping in to say hello and check on me which is always nice. So yeah, that's it: just a really great, productive weekend with friends and family. The only thing that was missing was Clintboy, who I'm sure is glad he missed out on the yard work. 12 more days 'til he gets home!!

Pastor Challenges Church Members to Have Sex Everyday to Combat High Divorce Rate

I'm not even kidding.

Going to Texas after Cali is like going from 800 thread count sheets to burlap…

Just got back from San Antonio, Texas on Sunday. My cousin Michael who I blogged about back in December graduated from Air Force Basic Training and as a gift my aunt bought me a ticket to fly out and watch the ceremonies. It was a total surprise to Michael. He had actually called me the day I was flying out to give me flack about not being able to make it. Little did he know… I walked out on the field with my aunt, uncle, and other cousin Lee to meet him after their parade ceremony, hiding behind my aunt all the way and when I stepped out he had to do a double take and we both teared up. It was a great trip. Lots of good food and time spent with a side of my family that I’ve gotten really close with in the past 4 years or so. Michael left for tech school Sunday night, where he’ll be stationed at a Navy base just outside of Hollywood for the next four months. Hopefully I’ll get out there to see him before he gets done.



On the way out there I had a connecting flight in Atlanta with only 40 minutes to get to my terminal, and the plane from Birmingham stayed on the runway so long that I missed my flight. After rescheduling, I had an hour and a half to kill and I hate flying so I went and immediately found a bar. A few minutes after settling in, 3 young men in army fatigues came and sat down at the table next to me and starting chattering about something. After a second, I realized they were all drinking coke… well I just couldn’t help myself and I leaned over and asked them how old they all were: 19, 20, and 20. They said they’d already been to Baghdad twice and would probably be re-stationed out there soon. I was just incredulous… these guys were old enough to go to war and die for this country but they couldn’t order a beer. Ridiculous.

The day after I flew out for Texas, Clint left for tour. I think he’s in Kentucky today, and will be headed to Illinois and Michigan at some point before coming home March 7th. It’s the longest he’s ever been gone, and before he left he’d expressed some anxiety about me being at the house by myself, so my parents have loaned me their 170 lb great dane, Zeus whom Clint has lovingly dubbed “Chernobyl Dog”. For the past two nights I’ve slept with a hulking 240lbs of canine in the bed with me, and you better believe I stayed in the same damn spot the whole night. They sure do keep it warm though.

This week: hair, hair, and more hair. If anyone wants to have dinner or just come over to keep me company, holla at me lizrwells@gmail.com. You guys should know by now I don’t answer my phone.

Days Like Today I'm Glad I have an Office With a Door and an Ipod

I have felt like crap all day, but music has really helped keep me going. Highlights from my playlist today:

It’s Good to Be King – Tom Petty, Wildflowers

The outro to this song is simply the best. Ever.

Full of Grace – Sarah McLachlan, Surfacing

“Oh darkness I feel like letting go.
If all of the strength and all of the courage,
Come and lift me from this place,
I know I could love you much better than this,
Full of grace, full of grace, my love
I know I can love you much better than this,
It’s better this way.”

Radiohead – The Bends

The whole record.

Any Color Your Like – Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon

The wet, distorted guitar sounds are simply ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Shine on You Crazy Diamond – Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here

Again, the guitar…. David Gilmour is so badass.

Cold As It Gets – Patty Griffin

“There's a million sad stories on the side of the road
Strange how we all just got used to the blood
Millions of stories that'll never be told
Silent and froze in the mud

Moses – Patty Griffin

“I need a little place in the sun sometimes or I think I may die.”

I find myself saying this to Clint in different wording all the damn time. GOD I HATE WINTER!!!

And one last thought: I think that humans as a whole have a grossly underestimated the effect and importance of kindness. It is one of my greatest aspirations at this point in my life to become more kind.

California, California, Here We Come...

Driving in our rental car, with our beloved GPS system who we dubbed 'Dolores', presumably after the Back to the Future car: the Dolorean. Let's face it folks, when you've got a machine in your car guided by satellites that knows exactly where you are and can tell you how to get where you're going, you're living in the future.


I was amazed at how much of the plant life was completely foreign to me. I was only able to pick out the names of a handful of plants and trees the whole time. The picture above was taken at the camp where RMM was playing in Scotts Valley. It had just stopped raining and there was steam coming off the trees.





A tasty meal in Yountville, CA with my love.


The view from our room at the Meritage in Napa.


Amoeba Music in the Haight. We had dinner on the same street that night at Alembic with Joseph and Rachel Digerness and enjoyed some really great drinks. We stayed there so long talking that by the time we were ready to go we were all starving again and stopped in at the pizza place next door for a little slice of heaven.




Red Mountain Music. So very, very good for my soul.