Painful Relationships Part I (Because I am certain there will be more)

God I am in such a bad mood.

Do you ever do that thing, where you want something so bad you push for it in just the wrong way and all it does is make the thing you want that much farther away?

I can’t tell you how many times I have listened to people in the throws of the receiving end of such action. It’s so easy to pinpoint exactly what it is causing the offensive party to say or do such things, but to the receiver it’s just inconvenient and annoying.

It’s so hard to be gracious with people who’ve got their sights set on something they need or want from you. It’s so much easier to shut down or avoid it altogether then try and see what’s really driving it and what the appropriate action may be. God, why is it so fucking hard?

Maybe I’m mad because I feel guilty. Maybe I’m mad because it’s legitimate. Or maybe it just makes me scared about the kind of person I am. I don’t know. What I do know is that I can’t get this lyric out of my head:

“sometimes a hurt is so deep, deep, deep you think that you’re gonna drown.”